Excuses and Alibis
Today's Top Excuse
My cat's hairball has taken up permanent residence on my keyboard and refuses to be removed.
I've tried everything from catnip to a firehose, but it's a tough little guy.
Estimated time to resolution: 6.5 minutes (plus or minus 30 seconds)
Today's Top Alibi
I'm not late, I'm just fashionably early for the party that's happening in my dreams.
My calendar says it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Estimated time to departure: 5 minutes (plus or minus 3 hours)